On the Subject of Pride: He's Still Working On Me

Do any of you struggle with PRIDE? If you had asked me 20 years ago if I had a problem with pride, I would have said, "No! Of course not!" But, also, 20 years ago was when I started praying for peace in my life. I told God that I didn't want to necessarily be "Happy" or rich or famous . . . I just wanted to be healthy and PEACEFUL. Well, let me tell you, my friends . . . God heard my prayers.

I didn't realize it back then, but one of the biggest hindrances to harmony in my life was my own ego. According to God's word, the one thing He hates most is pride in us humans. He still loves us, of course, but He loathes pride.

When I started praying for peace, peace was the OPPOSITE of what I began receiving . . . at least for a while. One extremely difficult circumstance after another began to occur in my life. I lost my health, which, as a result, caused me to have to quit my job, rent out my small townhouse, and move back home with my parents at the age of 38 years old. And these things were just the beginning of what I encountered after praying for peace.

After yet another and another volatile situation kept coming my way, most of them due to the fact that I had made unwise decisions, I always seemed to hear myself say, "Boy, that REALLY hurt my pride." Now, 20 years later, I still find myself uttering those words, and finally it has dawned on me that maybe the reason my pride always seems to get hurt is because I have so much pride to get hurt. And I don't have to tell you that a hurt ego is very painful. It can be as painful as a broken heart. At last, God has gotten through to me that I really have an issue with pride that has caused me to have a lot of unnecessary pain and hardship in my life.

Now, do I believe that God deliberately brought all of those difficult circumstances into my life just to whip the pride out of me? No, I do not believe that, and, as I said earlier, most of those circumstances were brought about by my own bad choices. I do, however, believe that God allowed me to go through those things in order to cause me to tone down my ego.

I believe that God will continue to allow certain challenges in our lives until we have learned the lesson that we are supposed to. When we get to the place where God wants us to be, those circumstances either disappear, or we become strengthened and refined enough to bear them with courage and poise. We may even be able to feel Joy in the midst of our difficulties.

With that being said, apparently God is still working on me in this area because I have occurrences almost everyday in which I say, "Boy, that REALLY hurt my ego!" The difference between now and back then is that, today, I have learned to apply the FROG discipline: Fully Rely On God. I have learned to let go and give my hurt feelings to God; as a result, I am slowly but surely beginning to experience the peace that I prayed for 20 years ago.

It's like God said to me, "You asked me for peace, but first, I showed you the source of your discontent, and then kept working with you until you finally figured out how best to deal with it, which is allowing me to bear it with you. Simply taking away your hardships would not have taught you to learn how to lean on me, and certainly would not have shown you that your ego was the root of your problem."

God's comfort does not always come immediately. I still stew, stomp, cry and fret at times, but sooner than later I calm down and remember to ask God to carry me through. As the saying goes, "When you are stressed, float a while." It is best to float in the outstretched loving arms of God who loves us and grieves with us when we suffer.

Yes, I am still developing in this area, but the tranquil moments I am beginning to enjoy as a result of dealing with these extremely difficult issues are proving to be worth all the pain and heartaches I have suffered through. And learning to FROG has definitely been invaluable, for this is the source of the "peace that passes all understanding" that the Bible speaks of. I only wish I would have learned this years ago, but better late than never. I am still a work in progress, and as the children's Sunday School song goes,

He's still working on me,

To make me what I ought to be.

How loving and patient he must be,

He's still working on me.

And how thankful I am that He is! I also want to add that I have slowly regained all that I lost back then . . . my health, finances, and general sense of well-being . . . It hasn't happened overnight, and things are definitely not perfect, but slowly, over time, God has restored almost everything to me - everything, that is, except my PRIDE!

#Pride #Faith #Healing #Prayer